In 2015, same-sex marriage became legal across the US. Implementing this in civil marriage was easy: change “bride” and “groom” to "spouse" on marriage license forms.
But Jewish marriage ritual is trickier; its forms are deeply gendered and its words are based on principles of acquisition – in ways not well suited to same-sex or any egalitarian couples.
Late last year, as my final requirement of rabbinical school, I submitted a senior thesis to the ALEPH Ordination Program, exploring the possibility of letting go traditional Jewish wedding language and introducing the words of Ruth’s vow to Naomi: “Where you go, I will go...” In this work, I argue for the deep Jewish resonance and legal heft of those words, and explore the symbolic richness of the Ruth/Naomi story for queer couples. You can download the thesis in full by clicking the button below.
On April 25th, 2021, I offered a public workshop to give over and further explore these ideas. We looked at the difficulties of traditional Jewish marriage and divorce, surveyed the mixed record of the American Jewish denominations trying to accommodate same-sex couples, and opened up to the empowering language of the Book of Ruth. Here is the video recording of the workshop. I am always eager to hear your responses and ideas.